Talking All Night Long: A Gilmore Series
by Edward's Muse
Summary: (originally Shining Red and White) A series of stand alone chapters of big events in either of Rory's or Lorelai's lives. Tone and canoninity of events varies.
1. Shining Red and White

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Title: Shining Red and White

Fandom: Gilmore Girls

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Rating: PG 

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Genre: Angst/tragedy

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Pairing: None.

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Disclaimer: I own neither Gilmore Girls nor David Gray's beautiful lyrics to _Shine_

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Summary: Rory has no way to deal with her mother's death.

They sat next to each other, walls of white enclosing them, each reeling from their thoughts and their regrets. Her eyes were the kind of dry no one ever wants them to be, her face the weakened colour of paint. He didn't touch her, try to comfort or reassure her, and she appreciated it. What was happening was so alien that neither fully comprehended it. There was only the sound of impenetrable passing time.

Comfort had passed. Somebody was clenching her heart in his fist, defying her to think about what had gone wrong. The ache roared in her all day and thundered through the night. It was all she could do to suffer it silently.

Words were drained of intrigue, music lost its appeal, the world revolved on a deadened axis. Laughter was a foreign sound. It was only that one colour that drew her reaction. The truest, deepest red of fairy-tales. She was disgusted every time she found herself musing on how beautiful it was, pooling against the stark white, staining the paint with life. She cursed the way its serpentine evil commanded her thoughts. When she dreamed, it oozed from every crevice and formed pools of glistening red wherever it fell. Its unwavering redness haunted her every step, her every memory.

People surrounded her who told her it was normal and she barely heard them. People told her how sorry they were and she hardly turned her head. Only one voice told her how it hurt like utter hell. How feeling numb is something so much worse than pain. It was the same voice that told her she was missed beyond belief. 

She found herself listening to one song, over and over. She never played it consciously, but she closed her eyes every time and traced the case with her fingers. Around and around. On and on. His lilting voice never settled. She couldn't even recall the words he sang. It was enough that he was unconnected yet familiar. 

It was a long time after when she finally heard them. _…Don't be hiding in sorrow… _Months had passed, though she had no grasp of time. _…or clinging to the past…_She was staring out the window at falling snow. _…with your beauty so precious… _The same, pure white she had seen drenched with red for so long _…and the season so fast…_ was suddenly white, only white. _…no matter how cold the horizon appear…_ White without a hint of the darkest red she dreaded, _…or how far the first night when I held you near…_ white that was not the abrasive stark white of the bathroom floor, …_you gotta rise from these ashes…_ but the gentle, playful white of falling snow …_like a bird of flame…_ Twirling snow, eddied by the currents of the breeze, _…step out of the shadow…_ snow so careless, so simple, so natural …_we're gonna go, where, we, can, shine…_ so alive.

It was then that she let herself cry.

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A/N I wrote this tiny story to see what would happen. It began with a description of blood that I was working on and grew to this. It's a rather personal story for me and I would really appreciate any feedback you could offer me.


	2. Daylight in my Fingers

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Title: Daylight in my Fingers

Author: edwardsmuse

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Fandom: Gilmore Girls

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Genre: General

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Rating: G

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Summary: A description of what happened at Rory's birth in the alternate universe of my mind. Nice and happy and descriptive.

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Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls and I thank David Gray once again for the inspiration for this title. 

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Author's Note: My plan for this has changed. Originally I wrote _Shining Red and White_, definitely a stand-alone piece. Then I thought of writing a series of stories, all involving big events in the Gilmore's lives, and publising them in one go. And here we are. When/if I ever finish this, I'll out them in chronological order but for now, I'm writing as inspiration comes. Some of them are fictional, as in _Shining_, while others less so, as in this one. 

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Feedback: The tone is likely to be different for each one too so comment on the tone you prefer and I will write with that in mind. Thank you very much for your reviews of _Shining_, I was unsure how it would go since it's so personal for me. I hope you like this one, too. 

The 'he' from _Shining Red and White_ was Christopher. : ) 

Lorelai was staring into eyes bluer than her own, the blue of crystal lagoons in far-off lands. They blinked slowly and gazed back at her steadily. They were huge, glossy with water, taking up so much of the room in the tiny face they inhabited. The eyelashes were short and curled slightly, their darkness contrasting with the soft white of the skin underneath them. Lorelai's eyes shifted only so that she could take in more of the face. The nose, seemingly attached with glue, the cheeks puffy and smudged with a slight redness. The lips were red but very thin and they emitted gurgles when they parted, hinting at a small tongue somewhere inside. Some dark hair lined the top of the head, scruffy but feathery soft.

She couldn't take it all in. She was holding such a tiny person, her person, and she felt the strangest feeling of relief poking at her from somewhere inside. She'd done this horrible monstrous thing but what had proliferated wasn't all that bad. In fact, she'd even go as far to say that she would do it all over again, all the endless fighting, the pain, the quandaries, everything, just so she could sit here holding this tiny thing in her arms knowing it was hers. Suddenly the thought of responsibility was exhilarating; it was responsibility over this little thing. It was her duty and hers alone to protect it from the world, to teach it everything she knew, to keep it happy. Intense love for this tiny person swam right through her and in the same way she refused to take her eyes off it, she refused to believe she had created it. 

Christopher came into the room, grinning madly.

"I, I just can't believe it Lor."

"I know," she murmured. 

"There she is."

"There she is."

"Why is her head so big?"

"You tell me." Christopher smiled at her but she didn't look up. 

"Do you think you'll ever look away from her?"

"I don't think I have that kind of will-power." Christopher nodded.

"Do you think I could hold her?"

"Hmmm, nope," said Lorelai, "I'm not done yet."

"If we're waiting for you to finish with her…"

"…then we'll be here a while." His eyes rested on his daughter's forehead as he touched her it, so gently.

"She's perfect."

"Yes she is."

"She's ours." Lorelai smiled weakly. "Yours," he corrected and she finally glanced at him, trying to gauge his impression.

"Chris I don't mean…"

"I know you don't."

"I mean, you gave her to me." Christopher gave her a wry smile.

"Yeah, I did do that."

"I do love you."

"I know," he sighed, "but not like you love her." She nodded sadly.

"Funny how these things work. I hardly know her. She could turn out to be whiney or bratty or sticky or something, and yet here I am picking her over this wonderful, brilliant guy."

"You don't have to choose. It has been known for two parents to be married." There was a silence. He sat down on the bed then and looked at the tiny face. For a moment he felt something alien, almost familial.

"I can't do it Chris. I'm so sorry," Lorelai whispered, her eyes still on her daughter's eyes. Christopher stood up slowly and bent to kiss Lorelai on her forehead.

"I'll just go and find Emily and Richard then," he said.

As he left the room, Rory began to cry.


End file.
